That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
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he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm just crazy horny about you
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
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I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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