I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
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