just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
