Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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