You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
