i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize