I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
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