Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
