That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
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