By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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