we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
