I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
