that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
