There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
