The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
