Have you finally orgasmed yet?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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