Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
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I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
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I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
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