I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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