So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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