they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
