Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
