Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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