I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
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