How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
