Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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