this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
