I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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