Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
