Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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