Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
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