Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(209): View more from California

I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.

Fav 78 1076 3538
share tweet
(954): View more from Florida

I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza

Fav 53 27114 2447
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(509): View more from Washington

Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.

(406): View more from Montana

IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.

Fav 10 1386 4341
share tweet
(352): View more from Florida

Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.

Fav 11 4514 1145
share tweet
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(303): View more from Colorado

Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store

Fav 19 5529 1398
share tweet
(816): View more from Missouri

Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.

Fav 9 3529 1470
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(217): View more from Illinois

Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.

Fav 6 2324 975
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(972): View more from Texas

Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off

Fav 1 287 183
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(901): View more from Tennessee

How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.

Fav 2 42 1
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT