accomplished twins. life is a go
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
