i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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