better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
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This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
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I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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