How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize