if you like me you must not know who I am
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize