there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Randomize
