I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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