We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
What a dumb baby whore.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize