Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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