Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
