Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
