I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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