We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
