so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
