the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
my being single is dangerous.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
