Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
