My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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