quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
