Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
