i already hear my dad disowning me
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
