I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
