turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
