he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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