I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
