Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Randomize
